A Language of Their Own

A cappella

A cappella (Italian, “in the style of the chapel”) is vocal music performed without instrumental accompaniment. Barbershop is a type of four-part harmony, the heart of which is woodshedding: impromptu, improvised singing without arrangement and by ear. Four or more woodshedders sit in a circle and rotate parts for a round robin. A pitch pipe or a cookie is a chromatic scaled instrument blown to establish a key, generally containing thirteen pitches. Perfect pitch is the ability to name a note when given a reference; absolute pitch does not require one. A car-toy is the cassette tape you play in your car to learn your part. A post is a long note around which a tag is formed, the final portion of a barbershop arrangement, a climax with complex chord progressions. Four singers, each replaced by a new singer one-by one, are a tag quartet. Secretly sing with three other cats to establish a new quartet and you’re singing around.

A kibber prefers to “Keep It Barbershop,” while a crow or an eagle is a self-confessed non-singer who performs unglamorous chores. Bisectionals can sing more than one part; there are bipartites and tripartites, but chameleons can sing all four. A blead is a fifth part consisting of both lead and baritone and often sung by a member who’s been absent. A director uses her hands to tell you how to sing. A chorus rehearses and performs on risers, a metal, stair-like structure. A riser rat is any chorus member not in the front row. If you’re ambigesturous you can perform moves from either side. Stand on the risers with toes over the edge and you’re hanging ten. If you sing looking at the audience, not the director, you are down the tiles. Other moves include the betty boop, blossom, release the dove, honey, marilyn, raise the bowl, sunburst and window.

A robust up-tune is a gut-buster or a toe-tapper. Barberpole cat songs, aka polecats, are the twelve songs every barbershopper should know. A skunk song is essentially useless for woodshedding; the arrangement is too familiar. A tear-jerker is a tender, sentimental ballad and a chestnut is an old familiar favorite. An Oh Yeah song has an unfamiliar verse and a very familiar chorus, named for the audience’s comments as the chorus begins. 

Bubbling is an absurd vocal warm up, and a borneo barbershop is an exercise with the bass sung an octave high or the tenor an octave low. The barbershop 7th is the cornerstone chord consisting of the root, the major third, the perfect fifth and the minor seventh. Mesh voices into a unified sound and you’re blending; to blend a part into a chord is to float. When a unison note spreads to form a chord, it’s a cascade or a waterfall. A swipe is a progression of two or more chords sung on a single syllable. Adjust the volume inversely with pitch to balance a chord and you’re coning; sing loudly and you’re cranking or belting. Seamless, continuous vocals are a wall of sound. An onion skin is a tiny adjustment in pitch.

A ping is a bright, ringing sound; the whomp-ping is the ratio of resonance to ping in the voice. A scissors movement or a grundy means two voices cross each other while the other two sustain, inverting the chord. An overtone is a musical harmonic resonating with a fundamental pitch, an audible note higher than the other four. Chords locked in tune and volume ring with reinforced overtones. Lock and ring a chord and you’re peeling paint or busting a chord. Ear candy is an audible harmonic, an especially pleasing chord. Eargasm, chordgasm or chordasm is the climax of musical stimulation, replete with goosebumps and raised hairs. To spank is to execute well, but chordworship is to hold a chord longer that necessary just to enjoy it. A tiddly is a musical embellishment, usually by a baritone. 

A&R is short for Analysis and Recommendation, or Aggravation and Ridicule. When the director stops the chorus just before a paint-peeling tag, it’s a chordus interruptus. When the hotel security guard stops you in the middle of a song, it’s an opus interruptus. Join a quartet without an invitation and you’re fifth-wheeling. Breathing dips breathe when they aren’t supposed to; chorus dips do exactly the opposite of what the director asks; diction dips exaggerate the hard consonants; and diphthong dips over-emphasize the diphthongs, two vowel sounds in the same syllable. A honker sings loudly, garishly, and is often a bass—laser lungs is usually a tenor who cranks high notes and out of balance. A leaner doesn’t have the courage, ability, or rehearsal to sing alone. Fettucine singing is accidentally sliding between notes. A shoulder-raiser occurs when a singer doesn’t quite reach the note. When two voices land on the same note and simultaneously move to the missing part, it’s a yodel chord. A boring performance is a yawner. To slab or block is to sing slowly chord by chord. When one or more parts sing a wrong note, the chord is a train wreck. The barbershop squat is a physical stance at the end of a song that looks amateurish and hokey.

An afterglow is a gathering after a show, concert or convention, while an after-afterglow is a smaller, more private party and a glimmer is an after-after-afterglow. A convention afterglow where non-qualifying quartets can strut their stuff is a chorditorium, while a mass sing is a public event—everyone in attendance is invited.

Ham Radio

A ham is an amateur radio operator with a license or ticket. Your call sign is your identity, and your elmer is your mentor. 73 is “best wishes” or “best regards”, while 88 is “hugs” and/or “kisses”. An 807 is both an old glass vacuum tube and a beer. 33 is “love sealed with friendship between one YL and another YL”; a YL is a young lady. A YF is a wife, also known as an XYL (ex-young lady). OM or old man is a term of affection. To be barefoot is to run your transmitter without an amplifier. A boat anchor is a heavy old rig or radio, and a bird is a satellite. A rubber duck is a short, inefficient antenna; if it’s a homebrew, it’s homemade. Form an antenna party to help another ham mount a Yagi, the most popular type. Use a dummy load to test it and a matchbox to tune. A radio room is known as a shack. A net is an on-air gathering, while an eyeball is face-to-face. A picket fence is a fluttering transmission, and a transmitted signal is known as an emission. A ragchew is a long discussion.

A final is an end-of-transmission; to jump off is to leave; and clear means “off the air”. To stand by is to wait. A silent key is a ham who’s passed away. Copy is “understood”; roger that and you agree. Double is simultaneous talk. To step on someone is to talk over them. To kerchunk is to short press the repeater, the PTT, the push-to-talk button. Full-quieting is no background noise. A key is a device to send Morse Code by hand. To key up is to transmit, while to unkey is to stop. A bug transmits Morse semi-automatically. CW or continuous wave is a popular digital mode of Morse. A brass pounder sends telegraphy the old-fashioned way without any keyers or paddles. You’re known by your fist or sending style. SOS is a request for emergency assistance. MAYDAY is from the French “m’aidez” which means “help me”. 

Q-Signals are Morse shorthand. CQ is an open invitation which means “calling any station”. QSO is contact, while QRZ is “who is calling me”? QRM is interference and QSY is to change frequency. Your QTH is your location. DX is long distance or making contact over long distances, typically outside your country. You can become a member of the DXCC or “DX Century Club” after showing proof of contact with at least 100 different countries. QSL is to “acknowledge or confirm”; a QSL card confirms proof of contact with another station on air. An experienced ham may travel to another country to provide hams the opportunity to make a QSO there—this is called a DXpedition. A WAS award indicates “worked [made contact with] all states” and WAC is “worked all continents”. Hold a license for 25 years and you can join the QCWA or “Quarter Century Wireless Club”. Your cards and certificates are called your wallpaper. 

EME or earth-moon-earth communication is known as a moonbounce—use the lunar surface to reflect your signal back to earth. The Solar Flux Index measures radio emissions from the sun, which can get in the way. A Field Day is a yearly contest where hams journey to remote sites and operate for 24 hours straight, sponsored by the ARRL (American Radio Relay League). FB is fine business, an acknowledgement of quality. A pink ticket is an FCC notice of violation. A harmonic is a secondary RF emission that is a multiple of the fundamental emission, as well as the term for a ham’s child.

The International Radio-Telephony Spelling Alphabet (aka the standard NATO Phonetic Alphabet) is Alfa, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliett, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whiskey, Xray, Yankee, Zulu

Pickleball

Pickleball is a mélange of tennis, badminton, and ping pong; a pickler is especially obsessed. Pickle is a warning shouted before serving and OPA! signals open volleying after the third shot. Lose the game eleven-nil and you get pickled; the shutout is known as a bagel. Pickle your pal without losing your starting serve and it’s a golden pickle. 

The kitchen is the non-volley zone, marked by the kitchen line with the pantry on either side. A volley llama is an illegal shot in the kitchen. It’s hard to defend the no-man’s land in the transition zone between your kitchen and your baseline. A drive is a hard, low shot from the baseline. A bash is a hard shot off the top of the net; a let ace serve means they’ve been lettuced. A body shot or body bag is when you intentionally tag an opponent to win a point. Hit the non-receiving opposite player with a serve and you smashed a nasty nelson. A banger only hits hard drives at opponents, annoyingly. Enter a deep squat to attack a chest-high ball and you’ve smacked a scorpion. Slam a high ball into the net and it’s a fly swatter. Hit a ball through your legs, often facing the other way, and it’s called a tweener; hit a ball through your opponent’s legs and it’s a nutmeg or a 5-Hole.

A flabjack or flapjack only becomes a live ball called a dill once it bounces. Cradle the ball for a carry. A soft, arching shot into the non-volley zone is a dink or a dinker. Don’t donk your dinks; a speed up is a change of play. A tomahawk is a high overhead near the kitchen that flips from backhand to fore. A chop, chip, cut, or slice imparts backspin on the ball, and a chainsaw imparts spin before serving. Corkspin is riffling that causes a crooked bounce. A chicken wing is an awkward defensive shot with the paddle close and the elbow out. A weak shot is a falafel, aka a dead paddle. A cookie is an easy shot you really should enjoy.

An around-the-post (ATP) is a low return around the net’s post—hit one directly back at the opponent and you’ve hit a joey. A disguise is intentional deception to hit with a different pace or direction. Jump over the corner of the kitchen and hit the ball mid-air and you’ve played an Erne. Hit your partner’s ball in doubles and you poach their shot; cross in front of them to execute an Erne on their side and you’ve hit a Bert.

To perform a Shake n’ Bake or Crush n’ Rush, the shaker drives the third shot low over the lip, while the baker rushes to the net near the centerline. The intent is to pressure the opponent into a falafel or a pop up flub to easily put away. When teammates stack, they line up on the same side of the centerline during a serve or return, ready to move to their preferred positions. If two teams are tied after four games of doubles, a dreambreaker is played to decide the match with rotating singles. Play on half the court, often diagonally, and you’re playing skinny singles. Pickleball is pukaball in Hawaii.

Bowling

Power stroking is a form of tweening; the form lies somewhere between cranking and stroking, characterized by high hooking power and smooth delivery. Oil conditions the first two thirds of the lane resulting in the ice and rug; more friction means more hook for a cranker. Bounce your ball close to the foul line and you’re known as a harkrider. A clover, a sombrero, a hedgehog and a four-bagger are four strikes in a row, while three is a turkey. Three spares is a chicken. Three sombreros is a perfect game.

The sleeper, bicycle, barmaid, phantom pin, ninja pin, double wood, ghost pin, or mother-in-law is a pin directly behind another pin, and hard to see. The messenger, birddog, scout, or rogue pin is shrapnel; it flies across the width of the deck and knocks down another sucker after the others crumble for a spike.

Grandma’s teeth, Greek church, clothesline, railroad, dime store, the Kresge, poison ivy, dinner bucket and a sour apple (a.k.a. the full Murray, or Lily) are various combinations of pins left standing. Bedposts, fenceposts, mule ears, and snake-eyes, the 7-10 split, are the most difficult to convert. Faith, hope, charity is a Christmas tree. A golden gate is big ears, big four, and a double pinochle. Dead wood is a pin outside the reach of the sweeper.

A dirk is a toss with tremendous loft. A frozen rope is thrown hard in the pocket. Cheesy cakes are lanes known for easy strikes. Go bland and you start a new game.

Keglers are bowlers. Sandbaggers keep their average down to receive a higher handicap.

When the 6-pin gently tops the 10-pin, its known as a tickler or a love tap. An apple is a bowling ball, as well as a kegler who chokes. A dodo is an apple that’s overweight or out-of-balance. A grasshopper is an effective ball, especially on light pocket hits; some people call it a honey. Maples are pins and some call them wood.

Mr. Average is an absent bowler, Mrs. Average is an awol female.

To roll a ball in the moat or gutter is to poodle. A gutter ball is a puddle. If pins go down fast in a strike, it’s a splasher. When a string of strikes come to an end, one exclaims, “The fire’s out.”